There’s a sign in my neighbor’s yard that says “Just Be Kind.” You’ve probably seen this message somewhere in your own community or maybe online. “Just Be Kind” is a social trend that was launched in 2015 by youth in Central Indiana and has become a prominent movement that has spread across the USA and beyond. The movement’s pithy message is frequently displayed on yard signs, t-shirts, mugs, keychains, and posters. It has become a mantra for many parents who want to teach their children to get along with others. Businesses are using it as a guideline for improving customer service and employee relations. Church leaders are using it to advance evangelism efforts and ecumenical unity. It is even being promoted as a value that can bring national unity.
Can the solution to interpersonal, ecumenical, and national tensions really be that simple? I don’t think so. More importantly, I believe there are dangers involved when Christians uncritically adopt this slogan as an ultimate guideline for living. The “Just Be Kind” mentality makes it easy to ignore biblical commands to ‘contend for the faith’ (Jude 3), ‘reprove, rebuke, exhort’ (2 Tim 4:2), ‘correct’ (2 Tim 2:25), and ‘speak truth’ (Eph 4:15). All of these responsibilities are to be carried out in love and with kindness, but they are to be carried out—not neglected on the basis they don’t fit someone’s perceived model of kindness.
The fact that this movement is so widespread raises important questions for Christians to consider: Since people who hold unbiblical worldviews are wholeheartedly participating in this movement, what distinguishes the kindness of Christians from the kindness of non-believers? Do the smiles and acts of kindness of Christians somehow convey a distinctive gospel-centered message that is lacking in others? Is kindness the key exclusively to Christian evangelism? These are matters I wish to address here.
The Danger of "Just"
Before I continue, let me help alleviate any 'unkind' thoughts you may be having about what you have read so far. I am not saying kindness is wrong, or unimportant. To the contrary, Christians are instructed to love others, and Scripture teaches us “love is kind” (1 Cor 13:4). Love and kindness are elements of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). There is no question we are to show love and kindness to others, both inside and outside the church. The dangers involved come into play when the word ‘just’ is added to the message and there is a misconception that the sum of our responsibility as Christians is simply to 'be nice' to others.
“Just be kind” implies that being kind is all that is required—as if being a Christian can be easily reduced to this one simple task (which, in reality, isn’t all that simple and doesn’t come naturally in most cases). For many Christians, this way of thinking results in a weak, watered-down commitment to faith that seeks to avoid conflict at all costs, and never risks offending anyone by speaking the truth. In extreme cases, this slogan has been used to promote unbiblical ideologies. For example, one popular progressive pastor/author wrote a blog titled “Just Be Kind” that describes being kind as going beyond “opening doors and smiling at strangers and giving up the parking spot and paying for lunch for the guy behind you and being generous with compliments, and all that” to include letting people “love who they love” [referring to LGBTQ] and “believe in the God they desire—or to believe in no God at all.” [1]
Unexpected Consequences
In the course of my routine Bible reading, I read something interesting in the introduction to 2 John (in the ESV) about the consequences of Christian kindness in the early church:
False teachers were using the kindness of Christians to gain influence within John's congregations.
If it’s true that kindness is the key to evangelism, how was it that the false teachers were the ones gaining influence?
I think it’s reasonable to assume that a lack of sound biblical doctrine would have been a major factor in this situation. The church was lending aid to enemies of the gospel who abused their hospitality, and apparently the false teaching was not being discerned and confronted. At this point in church history, many doctrinal disputes had yet to be resolved, and the fact that all but one of the New Testament books (Philemon) warn against false teachers is evidence that errant doctrine was a common problem. Today, even though Christian orthodoxy has long since been established, the danger remains—showing kindness without having a good knowledge of biblical truth is risky. Without a solid biblical foundation, we can be easily deceived by smooth-talking wolves in sheep’s clothing.
A good modern-day example of kindness that lacks biblical and theological truth is the LDS church (Mormons). They are well known for their strong commitment to community, for selflessly serving one another, for faithfully supporting their church financially, and for their dedication to missionary outreach. A well-known Christian apologist with several family members who are Mormons has said, “You can never ‘out-nice’ the Mormons!” And yet, underlying all of their commendable outward demonstrations of kindness, commitment, and unity are doctrines that lead to destruction. This real-life illustration should give Christians a reason to re-think a “Just Be Kind” philosophy, especially as a form of evangelism.
While a strong sense of community and evangelistic goals are very important for the health and growth of the local church, it’s also important to consider what it is outsiders are being invited into when we evangelize. When we demonstrate kindness toward others in our effort to make Christianity attractive, are we prepared to offer a solid biblical foundation for discipleship and spiritual growth? Or, will we simply offer a syncretistic smorgasbord of beliefs and practices from which they might choose? Do we, as part of a local church body, demonstrate unity in the way we answer important questions about God, Scripture, sin, and salvation? Or, are we representing a variety of doctrines, some of which are foreign to Scripture? These questions are serious considerations for Christians.
Distinctives of Christian Kindness
The ‘Just Be Kind’ movement is being promoted and practiced among a variety of political, religious, and cultural groups. In light of this, how do Christians distinguish themselves from other groups or individuals who outwardly demonstrate the same acts of kindness? It appears that one major difference is faithfully holding to biblical truth even when it is seen as a threat to a peaceful society. In his blog, “The Case for Holy Obstinacy,” Trevin Wax points out that “sometimes the Christian community is called to be an irritant to polite society.” When Christians habitually “go along to get along,” their witness for the Gospel can be compromised or even lost. There are times when, contrary to the claim that stubbornness hinders our witness, stubbornness actually is our witness. When we are faced with the choice to stand firm on biblical truth or compromise for the sake of “getting along,” standing firm on biblical truth will often be perceived by others as being unkind, regardless of how winsome and kind our approach is. “When we refuse to name good evil and evil good…or deny the core teachings of Christianity when they’re unpopular, our quiet ‘no’ will be scandalous.”[2] We cannot gauge our speech or actions by other people’s perceptions of what kindness should look like. Our allegiance is to a higher authority.
Paul’s letter to the Philippians is sometimes cited as instruction to the church to avoid all arguments and disputes ("Do all things without grumbling or disputing"- Phil 2:14 ESV). This can easily be seen as support for the "Just Be Kind" motto. But Paul himself engaged in disputes and debates (i.e., Acts 15:2, 1 Cor. 15:12-34). So did Jesus. Jesus had disputes with religious leaders, moneychangers in the temple, and even his own disciples and family members at times. Jesus sometimes used harsh words: you brood of vipers! (Matt 12:34); you hypocrites! (Matt 23:27); Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me! (Matt 16:23). He also employed what some people would describe as violence: using whips to drive people out of the temple and overturning tables and chairs (Matt 21:12, Mark 11:15, Luke 19:45-46, Jn 2:14-15). While our sinful nature makes it difficult, if not impossible, to do such things with pure motives and without sin as Jesus did, we should not miss the point that Jesus and Paul both had disputes with others.
An important distinction to keep in mind is that arguments, disputes, and debates are not the same as petty quarrels. Petty quarrels stem from human pride and jealousy. Jesus and Paul demonstrated that matters of great importance need to be disputed and debated. They both used argumentation to challenge opponents or demonstrate the truth of Christianity. (Read more about using arguments here.) When imitating Christ is viewed as being completely non-confrontational, we end up resembling the likes of ‘Mister Rogers’ more than the One who said, “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” We need to be willing stand for and defend the truth, both inside and outside the church. This often requires disputing false teachings and offering good argumentation for truth.
Final thoughts
Scripture instructs us to gently correct those who are in error without being quarrelsome, so they may be led to repentance and a knowledge of the truth, and be freed from deception (See 2 Tim 2:24-26). But, we can only correct something if we know it is wrong. This requires that we have a knowledge of Scripture and sound doctrine. We need to know what Scripture teaches and be able to disciple others in truth. Yes, we should be kind. But being kind cannot be the only requirement. We also need to be willing to lovingly correct unsound doctrine and confront sinful behavior. That’s what Jesus did. Jesus demonstrated love and kindness when he confronted sin and called people to repentance so they might have eternal life. Let's be kind like Jesus.
[1] "Just Be Kind" by John Pavlovich. (I chose not to give the URL for this resource because there is profanity embedded in it, but you can find the blog by searching for “John Pavlovich Just Be Kind” or use the hyperlink in this blog.)
[2] "The Case for Holy Obstinacy" by Trevin Wax https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevin-wax/defense-holy-obstinacy/
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